284/365 - Classify

 

There one important thing

that must be done

before all the adorable

ghosts and goblins come

and that's shuffling

all the very best candy

to the bottom

283/365 - Touchless Everything

 

I have to use the bathroom

but my hands are purple

I have to use the bathroom

but my hands are purple

and everything in this house

is so very clean

I have to use the bathroom

but my hands are purple

and the doorknobs are shiny

and the towels are white

and everything between

here and the toilet

is so freakin' pristine

I have to use the bathroom

oh why did I have so much to drink?

I have to use the bathroom

but I don't want to trash the white porcelain sink

I have to use the bathroom

oh why wasn't I more careful with the paint?

I have to use the...

OH WAIT!

There is a garage sink

right over there

and it's already grease smudged

and paint stained

and no one will care!

Then I can go upstairs

and use the bathroom, finally

and I don't have to worry

about putting my hands everywhere!

282/365 - Forfeit

So to those who say

ice cream is for summer

and fall is for

pumpkin spice lattes

I tip  my waffle cone

to you

and say

I can have my sweater weather

and eat my pumpkin ice cream too

 

281/365 - Slothful

 

I knew this time would come

a decision to be made

should I case the sun

as it crawls

across the floor

or should I stay here

forever more

in the cold

of the gloaming

Oh to nap

without the roaming

of the sunbeams

across the room

leaving me

in the cold and gloom

280/365 - (Hippo) Campus

 

Blah blah blah

something about memories

being grains of sand

in a jar

but that's what I am today

not sand

but blah

I think its the fall

the days are getting shorter

the sun is going away

I should be starting over

a new school year!

NO!
those years

were so long ago

those days

now gone away

which brings me around

again

because it is

all memories

in the end

310/365 - Rumor

 

Not to be

gossiping

but did you see?

(yes did you see?)

Before Thanksgiving

the neighbors

put up

their Christmas tree

And not to be

a tattletale

but have I got a story

to tell

about the dog

down the street

and how they 

got fleas

Now I know

you may say

this is how rumors spread

but I have it

on good authority

it's all true

what I've said

279/365 - Navel (Gazing)

 

You were standing there

contemplating the cottage cheese

when your cart

ran away

I think the floor

of this grocery store

is sloped

I don't know

You were standing there

pondering your pedicure

when your cart

took a little vacay

I watched it roll

past the dairy

then turn and flee

down isle three

You were standing there

scrolling on your cell

when your cart

went on holiday

You didn't see

but it was quite funny

to watch your cart

depart

And when you finally 

turned around

and your cart

was nowhere to be found

Well 

I couldn't contain

my laughing

but I could see

you'd probably think

it was me

which is why I left

as hastily

as your cart

which was probably

half way to isle four

in this shitty

Lucky's store

278/365 - Online Classes

 

900 flashcards

in 44 days

They're all online

but I'm old-school

what can I say?

(alright, alright,

I'm just old, okay?)

So anyway

if I write down

(and memorize)

about 20 a day

then I should be alright

though truthfully

it's been 19 years

and taking a test

again

scares the shit out of me

277/365 - Casus Belli

 

It was written on the ceiling

glowing red

64 degrees it said

But of course I already knew

so snuggly

in the wonderfully warm bed

that before morning ended

the war would 

begin. The temperature drop

the catalyst to the battle

but who would 

win? Who would claim victory?

Or more perspicuously said

how long could

I repel the forces that want

the heater turned on straight away

"but it's not 

even November yet" I say

so anyway

the heater was turned on today

276/365 - Intoxicate

 

A giggle tsunami

struck without warning

and we found ourselves

gleefully splashing

in the flood waters

And when we finally

came up for air

we realized

it was probably

air that we needed

Or more specifically 

did anybody read

the fine print

 on the funky

(stinky)

paints that we're using?

Ah yes

now I see

(barely - 

the print is so small!)

"use in a well ventilated area

- ONLY!"

275/365 - Found Family

 

It's crazy

but it's true

I've spent more time

with you

then the family

I was born into

It's not that I

don't love them

I'm lucky

because I do

It's just

from the moment

we found each other

I wanted nothing more

than to adventure

through life

just us two

274/365 - Ham

 

I's ham it up for that ham

I's do anything you want

sit down, lie down, sit again

I's even gib you my paw

Please just gibs me

a little bite

just a little bit

look deep into 

my puppy-dog eyes

that will do the trick

273/365 - Presumption

 

I thought it would

come to me

that I'd think of something

eventually

And I've been waiting

patiently

But now it's nearly

9:20

and I am getting

so sleepy

 very this will 

have to be

what passes for today's

poetry

272/365 - Grocery Delivery

 

"A mystery box

has appeared"

"Where?"

"On the counter

right there"

"Ah, I see"

"What could it be?"

"Did you order

something?"

"Wasn't me"

Then hours later

still puzzling

I suddenly knew

just what it was

"My dear

every year

what do we get sent

just because?"

"Pumpkin cookies"

we both squealed

and with a quick text to dad

the truth revealed

"But they'll go bad

in a couple of days"

"And we're not home

for a week"

"Well that sucks"

"What a waste"

But then

in unison

we cried out again

"Text the pet sitter

she'll have a plan"

And indeed she did

She'll put them

in the fridge

"I do have one question

though

she replied"

"How did you know

a surprise

package had arrived"

"Ah well

to tell 

you the truth

we saw it on the camera

we use to spy on you"

271/365 - Quotient

 

I covet the sun

there I said it

the long languid days

the nourishing rays

are dearly missed

I'm not getting enough

of this

For a week I rose

to the horizon's

warm glow

and bid goodnight

to the lingering twilight

but just two days back

and I feel

the lack

of spending all day

in the sunlight

at play

270/365 - Flood

 

I left paradise

and found myself

in a surge of squash

The fall flood

is in full-force

a super-abundance of skeletons

dance on front lawns

in front of a backdrop

of orange and gold

(they are only $25

at Target

I'm told)

Sheet ghosts and

fake spiderwebs abound

The Halloween spirit

is all around

so I guess I'll hang up

my lei

and put the

aloha wear away

'cause its spooky season

in A-town

269/365 - Online Community

 

All I can think of

is going to bed

Until

the pillow

meets my head

Sleep is pounding

at my door

but refuses

to come in

and the din

echoes in my frenzied brain

driving me insane

The night spreads out

before me

Infinitely

but I know I'm not alone

I pick up my phone

to find those

that I seek

The others

who cannot sleep

reaching out

into the night

on little squares of light

message

after

message

Desperate pleas

All alone in our beds

but together

online

in our insomnia community 

268/365 - Belt

 

The screaming starts

at six AM

The birds call out

let dawn begin

The cacophony continues

with the rooster crows

Wake up everyone

the sun arose!

And as the pinks

in the sky begin

to turn to blue

I am summoned

to the balcony

to join in

in crying out

It cannot end!

but with the sun

or last day began

and soon we'll leave

the time has come

But it's not fair!

I should into the breeze

the only reply

is the whispering trees

267/365 - Misery

 

I let the clouds 

hang over the day

despite

the clear blue sky sunrise

because

that sunrise

was being kept from me

by the voices

on the phone

three thousand miles away

266/365 - Masks Optional

 

It's the red eyes

that give it away

I've seen this before

and I just have to say

I don't know why the talking heads

hold so much sway

but don't listen to them

if you want to have a good day

wearing your snorkel mask

is the only way

to see all the fishes

swimming in the bay

plus instead of your eyes stinging

you might see a stingray!

265/365 - Hilarious

 

A line begets a line

and grows longer in time

(but how much longer

would it grow

in the next 17 minutes

or so)

It snaked around

the turtle fountain

and wrapped down

by the coco palm trees

But what are they

all here for?

On over-hyped 

built up lore

of the sweetest pineapples

to be found

yours for only

$10 a pound

264/365 - Disagreement

 

There is a disagreement

it seems

between my brain

and my knees

My brain thinks

hiking is fun

My knees think

that they are done

My brain wants

to see the view

My knees say

Respectfully, fuck you

263/365 - QR Code Menu

 

It doesn't start off well

my phone

is refusing to scan

to acknowledge

the existence of the black

and white interwoven

squares

that the menu

is hiding behind

It only goes downhill

from there

because the menu

doesn't matter

they are out of nearly

everything

including servers, it seems

and

I find I am running out

too

of patience

But I wait

because I'm hungry

and I'm here

and what else

is there to do?

At least

there's a nice view

262/365 - Copy

 

Control Cee

Control Vee

Field of palm trees

rustling in the breeze

lulls me to sleep

at a quarter to three

in the endless summer

sunny day

in a field of grass

where I lay

261/365 - Duty

 

My eyes dream

as I watch

the blue tapestry

of the ocean

tumble toward the horizon

I want to sail

across this sea

but instead

I soar high above

on my way to vacation

and I've brought my laptop

with me

and worst of all

I've done it

voluntarily

out of some fucked-up

sense of duty

and I know

if I want to 

chase that dream

I need to stand up

I need to reassess

my loyalties

260/365 - Quiet Quitting

 

I've been invited

to a meeting again

One that I don't

actually

have to be in

So here I am

scrolling on my phone

Wait

Did someone say my name?

Shit!

I forgot to turn off

my microphone

and that TikTok video

was really loud

Oh well

At least I'm not alone

I see at least three other people

not looking at their screen

So why again

are we all meeting?

259/365 - Exciting

 

The noise

is what gives him away

A-ruff and A-roo

and grunts and growls too

Quietly though

he's trying to be sneaky

The dogs in the bedroom

and he's getting freaky

with the clean sheets

I left on the bed

They're irresistible

to stinky pup Fred 

258/365 - Write Out

 

It helps, you know

to let the words flow

and sometimes

I forget

and sometimes

I feel stuck

and sometimes

I feel like

I have to get caught up

and now

it's been since September

- whatever -

and I'm trying

to recall

what's happened between

now and then

as if the world will end

if continuity is broken

but really, I just need

to clear my mind

and put my pen

to paper

and begin again

257/365 - Hybrid Workweek

 

Work from home!

It's great they say

less time to toil

more time to play

But they failed to mention

it's not all fun

because now I've got

two jobs

instead of one

These spreadsheets

might be due at three

but my messy house

is side-eyeing me

Because once this Zoom

call is finished

I've got to tackle

that pile of dishes

And I think I just heard

the dryer buzzer ring

nope, that was outlook

I've got another meeting

256/365 - Gulf

 

There is a considerable chasm

between who I am

and who I think

I want to be

and it's filled

with hurricanes

and tidal waves

and whirlpools

and alligators

But isn't that true

of everybody?

There is a giant gulf

between that perfection

of body

of home

of life

and too much time

spent on my phone

(I know, I know,

I'm not alone)

But if you happen

to stumble upon

a vessel so sound

it won't run aground

on procrastination island

Then please keep free

a birth for me

and I'll be ready to go

just as soon

as I finish

this Netflix show

(Have you seen it

by the way?

I've been binging

it

all day)

255/365 - Pageantry

 

Its that time of year

again

Roll it out

let's begin

Open the gates

(and the plastic

storage bins)

and let the surge

of the holidays flood in

because as the 

darkness

threatens more of

each day

ONLY lights

ONLY decorations

can keep it at bay

254/365 - Working in Pajamas

 

The pearlescent morning light

whispers to the night

Go away!

Let's start the day!

But just like

the small dark hours

I'm not quite ready 

to acquiesce

to the sun's

creeping power

to come and join the fray

So I make sure

my blind's closed tight

and

(still in my jammies)

(still in my bed)

I work only by 

the computer's light

why go out

when I can stay here

instead