The Corner Park

There is a point where you think you have outgrown the park, like going to the park is just for kids, but no, parks can be exciting for 15 year olds too, only instead of going during the day, you go in the middle of the night. Like, there is this little park around the corner from my friend Michelle’s house, which is where I smoked my first cigarette. One night, during a sleep over, we snuck out of the house at like, 3 am, and went over to that park, on the corner, just down the street from her house, and we all sat on an orange plastic slide and shared a cig that Ashley had pilfered from her older brother. We all got a little buzzed, and then we hurried back to Michelle’s house and washed our hands and sprayed ourselves with perfume so her parents wouldn’t smell the smoke.

Then there was this other night, at another a sleep over, this time at Erin’s house, where we all snuck out at like 3 am again, and went to the park that was just around the corner from her place. Sarah had swiped one of the wine coolers that her mom had in the fridge. We all sat in the sandbox and passed it around, strawberry sweetness that made me feel a bit fuzzy, and then we laid back and watched the stars, which were dancing about in the pitch black sky, making us laugh uncontrollably. The nice thing about parks at 3 am is they are empty, and shadowy, so it is easy to hide. But when the light came on at the house next to the park we decided we better hurry back to Erin’s house.

The park is also where I first kissed him, this time it was the one around the corner from my house. We were coming back from the dance, and I knew if we parked in my driveway my parents would see, so we stopped at the park first, he said he just wanted to talk, but then we kissed. I was pretty sure I was in love.

One Friday night, or I guess Saturday morning, a few months after that first kiss, I got a text message from him in the middle of the night asking to meet me at our park. It was 3 am. I sat on the swings for what seemed like forever, waiting, until the sky began to get the faintest hint of dawn, and then I went home. He didn’t respond to any of my text messages all weekend and he didn’t show up to school Monday morning. It was weeks later when they finally found him. Really I kind of blame myself. I just keep thinking if I had only told someone that we were supposed to meet in the park, and he didn’t show up, something could have been done sooner. Then maybe now I wouldn’t be going to my first funeral.