Against the Law

What was I doing here?

I thought of my bed
Warm
Safe
I thought of going home, climbing the paint chipped steps
The threshold, the wood floors, the inevitable pile of vomit
(It didn't matter which cat left it, just that it was there)
Then the bedroom, the bed, the blanket, the pillows
The whoosh and creak as I lay down
The warm cocoon
Where nothing else existed

But I wasn't there
I was here

I took a deep breath
There were voices behind me, waiting their turn
Murmuring
What is taking so long I imagined them saying
I looked at my watch
10 seconds, that was all
That was how long I have been standing here
A lifetime in ten seconds
I took another deep breath and as if someone else had taken control of my body
I watched in horror
My foot, taking a step
The emptiness beyond
The river below
And I was flying